


Phil is not on fire 79

by aphanreference



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 11:50:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5868226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphanreference/pseuds/aphanreference
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan thinks what better way to reminisce on a friend’s life than watch old videos you made together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phil is not on fire 79

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first fic. I don't know what I feel about it.

I decided to film a video with Phil in person since it’s been a while. Jessica and Becky are joining me today. I set up my film equipment and sit down next to Phil. Jessica and Becky hide behind Phil so it could be a surprise when I introduce them.

“Hello Internet! It has been 16 years since Phil died. 16 was Phil’s favorite number so on his 16th death anniversary I am doing this year’s philisnotonfire with the actual Phil!”

“Oh Phil there was never a better king of the universe. Jan 30 1987 – Nov 17 2071.” I read off of Phil’s tombstone.

“There were never any truer words ever said. Anyway! I have two special guests with me. My wife Jessica and Phil’s wife Becky! Say hi guys!” They say hi and Jessica sits on my right and Becky sits on the left of Phil.

“So today we are going to react to some of the previous philisnotonfire’s.” says Jessica.

“That’s why we’re not at home so Phil can’t say anything.” Becky says giggling.

“Right. Let’s a Go!” I say in a Mario voice.

phil is not on fire

“Why do you always make cat whiskers on your face?” I pause the video.

“Shit! I forgot about the cat whiskers. I must really be getting old.”

“You are nearly 100 years old Dan,” says Becky matter of fact.

“Nice face at the beginning Dan,” says Jessica smiling.

“Shut up both of you. That’s beside the point,” I sigh and start drawing their whiskers. Jessica draws on mine then Becky starts jumping up and down excitedly.

“What’s up with you?” Jessica says while pushing Becky back down.

“I have a cat whiskers necklace that we could put on Phil!” screams Becky.

“How the hell do you still have one of those? We don’t sell them anymore I don’t think.”

“Phil gave me one for our first anniversary and I kept it ever since.” Becky says putting it on Phil’s tombstone.

“Okay let’s go back to the video!”

~time skip to after they finish watching the video~

“So guys what did you think? I didn’t think I would ever watch that, but it is an essential piece of dan and phil history I guess.”

“You and Phil’s viewers were so weird. What was with the squeaky voices?”

“2009 was a weird time, but the viewers are still weird if they watched us for this long. I’ll edit this bit to make us have squeaky voices. What about you Becky?”

“I miss Phil and I miss you and Phil’s friendship.”

“Aww Becky come here.” We pull Becky into a hug.

“Let’s just move on to the next one.”

Phil is not on fire 2

“Would you rather have a mermaid’s tail and your face or have a fish face and your body?”

“Mermaid’s tail on my face.”

“Mermaid’s tail on my face? I don’t want that or a fish face!”

“Are you joking Becky? That’s not what I said. I would have a mermaid’s tail obviously.”

“If you were locked up in prison how would you escape?”

“I would eat my own feet.”

“No comment.”

“Mega Sherbet Chocolate Truffle Candy mountain explosion.”

“CHILDREN!”

“The one Phil said sounds pretty disgusting. As long as our child is not involved in yours I’m okay with that.”

“This girl. I don’t know you anymore Jessica.”

“What’s your favourite onomatopoeia?”

“I still like microwave.”

“Dan you do not understand the concept of an onomatopoeia. It’s not one even if you say it in that voice. I like sizzle. Becky?”

“Poof”

“Is Dan in love with Nick Jonas?”

“Who would have thought that in a few years you would meet Nick?”

“I know and obviously I’m not in love with Nick Jonas. Describe this video in one word. You first Becky.”

“Zebra.”

“This video in one word is wow,” says Jessica.

“Really guys zebra and wow?”

“What’s your word then Dan?”

“Microwave.” I say in the same voice as the video.

Then we all burst out laughing.

Phil is not on fire 3

“If you had to lose one sense what would you lose?”

“Dan! You never answered this one!” Jessica and Becky say at the same time.

“You guys really care?”

“Yes.” They say completely straight-faced.

“Fine I would lose the sense of being a socially-awkward human being. You know it’s true. I-“ I start to ramble.

Jessica cuts me off. “Oh Dan love don’t start having an existential crisis now. We’re supposed to be celebrating Phil’s life. He may not be here physically, but he’s in our hearts. We have to think positive. He loves you. Becky loves you. I love you. Remember that.” She pulls me into a hug and pecks my cheek.

“Sorry.” I look down sheepishly. Becky turns my head so I’m looking at her.

“Oh and Dan I’m not saying that you don’t have it bad, but I don’t have someone to wake up by my side anymore. Can we just focus on the positive? That’s what Phil would have wanted. Right Phil?” Becky turns looking at Phil’s tombstone.

Jessica and I are slightly confused then we look over. Becky has placed that creepy Phil mask from our first spooky week on the tombstone.

“Oh my god!” I say clutching my stomach from laughing. “I told *wheeze* Phil to *wheeze* get rid of that thing ages ago!” I fall to the ground from laughing.

“He never did and I stole it from him so he thought he did.”

“Ugh Becky.” I say like I used to do in my videos, but there’s no anger in my tone.

“Draw what you would look like as a unicorn.”

“We should do that! Except with the 3D pens so it could be, er 3D.”

5 minutes later our creations are done.

“Guess who made each one.” I show them all out. Mine is obviously various shades of black. Some things never change. Becky’s was all colors of the rainbow. Like Phil’s. Jessica’s is just a plain unicorn.

“Jessica. Did you literally just make a normal unicorn? smh” I say actually shaking my head.

“Daniel. Did you literally just say an internet acronym from ages ago out loud? smh” She says mocking me.

I playfully punch her arm. “Oh shut up.”

“Do an American accent.”

“I can do a perfect American accent that is not a weird southern one that all of you Americans always complained about.” I say in a perfect general American accent trying to hide my voice accent machine. Becky sees it before I can hide it though.

She takes it from me and switches it to Italian. “You’re not fooling anyone Dan.”

“I tried.” I say back in my normal voice.

Phil is not on fire 4

Just as the video starts Jessica says, “Ooh the London apartment. I’m so glad we into a bigger house once Dylan was born.”

“Yeah that was a nice place. Though I still can’t believe that Phil convinced you guys to name him Dylan just so you can nickname him Dyl.”

“Well you and Phil are as important in my life as Jessica is. Besides I like the name Dyl.”

“Good thing yours didn’t come with the name Tabitha.” Jessica adds.

“That would have been well awkward. Hi Dyl. Hi Courtney. If you’re watching.” Becky waves at the camera.

”Would you please do an impression of the rare endangered Benedict Otterbatch?”

“Oh the memes of the past.”

“Jessica that wasn’t even a meme.”

“You are still the biggest meme of all Dan.”

“Got that right.” I wink at her.

“And the king of winking inappropriately.”

“Ladies and Gettlemen Phil. Your future husband.”

“The best one around.” Then Becky does a derp face.

“I have the weirdest twin and brother in law ever!” Becky just smiles at her.

“Normalness leads to sadness.” I quote Phil.

~~~

“I think that still remains as the weirdest pinof ever made. The amount those masks went through. Do we still have them?” Becky asks casually.

I wave my arms frantically. “NO! No Becky I’m not letting you near any more weird old props ever again!”

“I’ll take that as a yes. I’ll have to look for it when we get home.” I look over to Jessica pleadingly. She just looks at me as if nothing is going on.

“Ugh Becky.” I sigh slightly meaning it this time. I start to feel bad so I give her a quick smile. Thankfully she smiles back.

Phil is not on fire 5

”Make a slow motion video.”

We zoom in and out of the creepy Phil mask.

“Okay enjoy that guys.”

“Make a best friend handshake.”

“Uh how is this gonna work we have three people?” We try, but we all end up flailing about our arms and hurting each other.

”When was the last time you had a pillow fight.”

Becky pulls out 3 inflatable pillows from her purse. “Please can we have a pillow fight now? Please?”

After a few minutes of pillow-fighting we’re all on the floor catching our breath.

“Okay I’m definitely too old for pillow fights.”

~~~

“I have no words for that video. Remind me again why we’re doing this Dan.”

“Now that you mention it. I literally have no idea.”

Becky butts in. “Reminisce guys! Plus this is the only time probably that we’ll get Dan to watch these videos.”

Phil is not on fire 6

“Say the first thing that comes into your head!”

“Say the first thing that comes into your head!”

“Wait what? That wasn’t me.”

“COME ON DAN! FIRST THING!” I realise that Becky and Jessica are shouting at me.

“Erm… computer.”

“Computer.” They shake their heads.

“Become a plant.”

“Foreshadowing to Chris Plant.” Becky says.

”The year is 2087 what does…?”

Jessica pauses the video. “Are you kidding me? Seriously Dan? Is this why you insisted on doing the video on this specific day?”

I look away embarrassed. “Maybe…” I try to change the subject. “Was I really that dark?”

“We’re filming a video in the middle of the night in a graveyard. What do you think?”

“What it’s the only time that we can film here without people looking at us.”

~~~

“When was the last time we uploaded to DanAndPhilGAMES guys?”

“Shhh Becky. Don’t remind them.”

Phil is not on fire 7

“This is the one where you ruin the space time continuum Dan!” Jessica shouts.

“What the hell are you on about Jessica?”

“You change your face in the thumbnail.” Becky pulls out her phone and shows me the previous thumbnails.

“I never noticed that before. It was a very happy time in my life. There was the book, the audiobook, the tour, so many amazing things.”

“That’s it?” They look at me expectantly.

“Yep.” I say trying to keep a straight face. They continue to stare at me.

“Fine. Fine. It was also the year me and Phil met you guys. We almost didn’t go that New Year’s eve party. I’m so glad we did.” I give them each a peck on the cheek. The look of triumph on their faces was priceless.

~~~

“The only thing I want to do is the yoga.”

“The amount of exercise I’ve done in this video.” We do a google search and find this.

“I call being the person on the very left. Becky you have to be the one carrying us since it was your idea.”

After a good minute Jessica and Becky fall over and I’m left awkwardly standing like a kangaroo.

~~~

We decide to skip around the last of the pinofs since there were so many. Over the years me and Phil’s viewers started to give us more genuine questions and less of random challenges.

Phil is not on fire 10 with special guests

“Whiskers. Whiskers. Whiskers!”

“Phil! How is the living situation?”

“This is the perfect time to bring out our special guests. My girlfriend Becky and Dan’s girlfriend Jessica! Whisker initiation time!”

“So unless you’ve been living under a rock the past year Jessica and Becky now live with us!”

“If you don’t know who we are. Hi I’m Becky.”

“And I’m Jessica.

~~~

“We were so awkward Becky.”

“I know. Let’s move on.”

Phil is not on fire 12

“Dan! Tell us the real names of Becky and Jessica!” I look over at Phil. He nods. We both go down on one knee and face the door.

“Becky darling! Jessica! Come here please!” We hear stomping from the lounge.

“Phil! What is it? I thought you were filming a Phil is no-“ Jessica and Becky both gasp in the doorway.

“Jessica it was a complete coincidence that you and your twin sister have the same names as my characters in my videos but it’s not a coincidence that I met you.” I take a deep breath. Phil is on the side doing the same. “I would like to spend my whole life with you. Will you marry me?”

Jessica starts crying. “Dan you carrot! Of course I will!”

“Dan and Phil you dorks doing everything together!”

“Shut up Becky you know it was a cute proposal.” I wink.

“It was.”

Phil is not on fire 15

“Where did you go on your honeymoon Dan?”

I smile. “So Jessica and I got married on June 11 my birthday. We wanted to as far away from Vidcon as possible to relax, no offence to anybody, so we went to New Zealand. We did the typical tourist thing and went to Hobitton.”

“AKA Dan in his natural habitat.”

I look at myself in the camera lens. “I can’t even be mad at you about that anymore Jessica as I started to wear my hair natural more often.”

~~~

”Phil! When are YOU getting married?”

“I’m getting married in a winter wonderland on a certain day that people will get mad if I mention. It’s in December. It starts with a C and ends with an s.”

~~~

Phil is not on fire 30

“Phil king of the Universe! Are you still going to make videos?”

“Yeah of course! Being the king of the Universe I have responsibilities, but being the king of the Universe I can do what I want. Also you don’t have to call me king or anything all the time. Just call me what you usually call me.”

“As long as it’s appropriate!” Phil quickly adds.

“If I had to call Phil king and Becky queen all the time, I’d die.”

“Rude. Meanie Dan.” Becky pouts.

“Love ya Beck.”

~~~

Phil is not on fire 62

“Try the youth juice thing!”

“Okay so some scientist made a thing that keeps you looking young and living longer. Normally we don’t do stuff like this, but it really works. So me and Phil are gonna try it now!”

Phil takes a sip first. “It just tastes like generic fruit juice.”

“Really?” I take a sip. “You’re right. It’s oddly good though.”

“If I could change something from the past I would stop Phil from drinking this. How were we supposed to know that he would be allergic? But who knows? My Phil might still be alive now if he didn’t drink it. He might be all wrinkly, but he’ll be here so I don’t care.”

“That’s sweet Beck.”

“Thanks Jess.”

~~~

Phil is not on fire 63

“Hello Internet.”

“Hey Guys!”

“I know it’s August but as many of you know Phil is dying and we wanted to make this now while Phil is feeling well as this might be the last one we do. Sorry.”

“We do not sacrifice the whiskers though!”

“Right Phil. Never sacrifice the whiskers.”

~~~

“Okay so Phil how was your last vidcon?”

“It was amazing! All of you were so nice and John and Hank threw a big party for me. I can’t believe they did that and invited everyone. I loved meeting all of you at the party. One of my best experiences.”

“Who will be rule the Universe now?”

“Obviously Becky will rule being the queen.”

“Speaking of being the king of the Universe. My wish of having soul being put into TV remote is going to be true! So our TV remote will now have my personality and all my favourite shows will pop up on the TV.”

“Phil is great guy, but that Phil TV got annoying fast. I’m so glad we made him into a robot tbh.”

Becky nods. “I have to agree.”

“Me too,” says Jessica.

~~~

“Okay! I don’t fancy watching any pinofs with roboPhil. Let’s call it a day guys?” They nod.

“If you want to subscribe to Jessica click on her face.” I point to Jessica. “If you want to subscribe to Becky click on her face.” I point to Becky. “If you want to subscribe to me click on my face.” I point to myself. “Lastly if want to see future pinofs or whatever random vids roboPhil makes click here.” I point to the creepy Phil mask.

I turn off the camera and start packing up the filming equipment. “This is gonna be a nightmare to edit.”

“Just get roboPhil to edit it.” Becky reminds me.

“Oh yeah let’s go I’m hungry.” I put out my hands to help Becky and Jessica up.

“You’re always hungry Dan.” Jessica says taking my hand.

I notice Becky remains sitting down. “You coming Becky?”

“I’ll catch up with you guys later. I want to say bye to Phil.”

Jessica put a hand on her shoulder. “Alright don’t stay too late okay. It’s already dark.”

“Don’t worry Jess. I’ll be okay.”

“Bye Becky see you later!”

“Bye sis.”

“Bye guys.”


End file.
